Fatter Than You

this tumblr has now developed into a place of introspection

I have my original savourtheflavoroffatty.tumblr.com

But if you want to read my musing on topics that are direct and literal yes patrisha no more metaphors to mess with your head… read this instead :D seryoso nga lang ‘to.

Musing on PMS while PMS-ing

First Group Work 2012 

Stand on PreMarital Sex:

- Against.

Have you ever had sex?

- No.

Personal Views On it:

- Kung personal naman pala… 

Kind of the same with the commitment preceding intimacy reason up there. Marriage is a very important and sacred sacrament for me but so is sex (both are important actually and spiritual too but the latter requires the former). 

So there’s marriage, abstinence… hmm.. 

Plus I don’t think there’s a way where you can be a 100% sure about contraceptives (condoms work only 97% of the time they say) or is there? - curious lang hehe.

So ayun magkataon mang magkaanak kawawa naman ang bata kung wala pala sa commitment mga magulang niya. (more issues in my head if i go on- think too much)

But if you know me well enough… you’d know I’d like to say something more like this… 

Stand on PreMarital Sex:

- Against. Very. I tend not to judge those who’ve had though.

Have you ever had sex?

- :> hahaha! No. :|

Personal Views On it:

This is very personal I could not stress it enough. Just know it is so stay with that okay?

It’s really kind of the same with the commitment preceding intimacy reason up there. But it’s more specifically marriage, the ultimate commitment. Marriage is a very important and sacred sacrament for me and so is sex. And sex requires the commitment. It would be very unfair for both parties (even if they say they’re both cool with it, again this is my personal opinion) if there were no commitment. 

So basically it comes down to my faith, my value system and fat philosophies. 

Plus, if you want to go all “safe” on this I don’t think there’s a way where you can be a 100% sure about contraceptives (condoms work only 97% of the time they say) or is there? – I’m curious and please educate me so I wouldn’t be using this argument anymore if proven invalid.

So ayun magkataon mang magkaanak kawawa naman ang bata kung wala pala sa commitment mga magulang niya. I mean they could eventually be a happy family but what if that doesn’t happen? Besides out of love, wouldn’t you want the best for your child? And wouldn’t being ready be a better time to actually have a kid? (more issues in my head if i go on- I do think too much and I really don’t want to stop) I would actually also say it’s selfish if you do not consider this possibility but I refrained from doing so because you know how people react. Gist: Marriage, Abstinence and really it’s not always just “about you two”.

And if you know me really really well

Stand on PreMarital Sex:

- Against. Yes it hasn’t changed. I’m also a product of it actually. I don’t think my parents would find it funny if I joked, “It’s okay. I knew you didn’t want me at first or didn’t expect me at least. I feel very special. So unpredictable!”

Have you ever had sex?

- No. But I’ll probably tell you when the time comes.

Personal Views On it: 

I realized I’ve been answering why I’m against PMS and not stating my views on it (aside from it’s wrong for me). 

So I have now changed my group answer to this: 

“Same with commitment (marriage) preceding intimacy so it’s wrong for me. and strictly just my opinion… I think pms acts are heavily influenced by pop culture (i.e. the increasing amount or minutes of sexual acts on tv), because maybe “it feels good and feels right (.)”, detachment of sex from spirituality and commitment, more pop philosophies and advertisements placing “acting upon” above “patience or waiting”, people not believing in marriage anymore. I bet their defns vary now actually. different value systems.”

But you know I’ll say more:

Regardless of the possible offspring, I’d rather save myself for the right person at the right time under the sanctity of marriage. I wouldn’t want the wrong person taking that special “first time” from me, so why would I do the same to someone I know who’s not for me? I believe in the saying (whoever said it): “The right person at the wrong (this has been “right” for a few days now embarassing hahaha!) time is still the wrong person.” I’ll save myself because I’m worth it, and he’s worth it.

Marriage is more than just two people taking vows. It’s also knowing that someday my feelings for this person may change, our views for each other may change, our compatibility may decrease or cease to exist, but we choose to hold on to our vows because we promised under the blessing of the Church, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and we not only promised to each but we promised to God. We promised in our Faith.

A very wise Jesuit once told us, “Marriage is a commitment to assist God in the ongoing creation of each other.” Thus, in a way marriage would then be committing to your spouse as you have committed to God.

I wouldn’t really know much about other people but I would love to believe in all honesty and all humanity. With all the heart, the mind and the spirit open, mankind would only want sex under this type of commitment. Heck! Mankind would probably want just this commitment.

Traditional or idealistic or whatever you may call it…

Love is so much more than a-z.

(sabi nga ng magaling kong alter ego, kung hindi ka naniniwala diyan, ang lungkot naman ng buhay mo.)

my tumblr wasn’t meant for this

It’s bothering me.

I didn’t go to class early in school and missed Ethics class. But I was really interested to know what it was about so I asked friends around. As usual, the typical medical school example for an ethical dilemma, the topic of abortion, was brought up. My friend who was a Mormon said  that he was pro-abortion on the example of a raped victim. Like any other he answered that it was the right of the woman to do so esp since at her state it would be very difficult, stressful and traumatic to carry a child for 9 months and be reminded of the tragedy she had gone through. I was really surprised with his answer. I mean, knowing that he was the typical obedient church man I thought he would be pro-life.

I argued my point saying, “(I am not in any position to decide for anyone esp I don’t really know what it’s like.- This was obvious.) But wouldn’t it be better if she just chose to keep the baby, nourish it, nurture it to become a good person and make something good out of something really terrible that happened. I know it would take a lot… But I think wouldn’t having Faith be enough?”

He answered me that he was really against abortion, but on that specific example of a rape victim, the situation must be considered. He told me that in their Church it was acceptable, for God did not want what happened to the woman. Giving the child a chance to live would be a better option, but abortion is also acceptable because God understands if the woman is not capable of being a mother to the child.

I told him, “I think anything that prevents life is sinful, but in certain situations, God will understand. It doesn’t make it correct, it’s just that God will understand because He loves us. But going back, wouldn’t faith be enough for the woman to do it?”

He said the woman can choose to but not all has the capacity to face and carry on with that challenge. Not everyone can have enough faith.

I told him, “But I thought real faith is inexhaustible?”

He answered, “It takes time for faith to mature. It can’t be force. It is not God’s way to force.” I told him I get what he means about faith needing time to mature and I said, “It can be forced… “

I thought of the time my mother died and I was left with no fully-functional parent to take care of me. I was forced to grow up, I was forced to mature and all that happened because my Faith matured. But again I thought that it was not the same though I did believe that Faith can mature fast — if needed to? I don’t know. Through force? I don’t know. But I did agree with my friend, It is not God’s way to force.

And so I said, “… umm never mind.” He exclaimed, “See it can’t!”

“Where are you getting all these?” I asked, “I mean do you have scriptures?” I asked him this because I knew that he did not believe solely in reasoning. He believed that sometimes human reasoning can lead to so many things it could go wrong. It’s what they believed happened to the Catholic Church and what their Book is all about— new commandments from God.

He said there weren’t any direct sources. I told him that the Catholic Church is kind of the same. So I asked him. “How can you be so certain then that God will approve of the abortion if there are no direct scriptures?” In my head, wasn’t that just reasoning?

He replied, “Our leaders teach us so…” 

“Aaaaahhh…. Right! You have living prophets.”

“Yes exactly!”

That was the difference. We are left wondering whether the abortion in situations such as rape is moral or not. We know about the universal value of LIFE but morality is never black and white. And so as Father Johnny said, “It is better to practice the ethics of caution.” But again like my friend said, they have God telling their living prophets to tell them his commandments. With that reassurance, who needs caution? 

This morning I was musing on the possibility of my friend being right?  I can’t just live and accept that we have different beliefs and leave it at that. What if he was right that God would approve of abortion given such situations? What if we were all missing out on other things God has to say? I did not want to discount his beliefs because that will be totally unfair and a much more heavier sin in my head— be really closed minded. But I also cannot be a relativist in this circumstance. Again, if everything was relative, what can you hold on to? What if abortion was the right thing to do and we do not know about it?

This morning I almost messaged our Ethics professor on facebook regarding this question in my head. The message box was there and I was ready to type… Until I thought of my entire message and have myself answered by myself.

Flashback: My friend told me that keeping the child would be the better option if you can give it a family, give it love… it’s just that not everyone can do that. And really WHO can do that? So God understands. He approves of abortion because He knows man’s limits.

I thought. As we say in tagalog, kakayanin mo nalang. You just end up doing it. You will just… CAN. I know that this will sound like a typical Christian answer. But hey, I am a Christian. God sent his Son to us. Jesus Christ gave His life for us. He died on the Cross paying for our sins.

It is clear. The best option is to value life. Any life in fact. I know God will understand if we can’t given the terrible circumstance. But come on, I know my parents will understand if I can’t give them for example a house in a nice village. They’re probably not even expecting that. But out of love, I would want to.

I’m not saying that we have to pay back our debts to Jesus. And of course anything we do won’t be enough compared to that. But do we really need to? That’s the point of Jesus dying for us, He saved us without anything in return. That’s the point of unconditional love. True Love.

I know we are not Jesus. But the whole point of being Christian is to follow His way. Again maybe out of Faith, maybe out of Love. Basta. Kakayanin.

I’m not saying it will be that simple for me if ever I am in the victim’s place or at least anyone that I know of is. I cannot even imagine the trauma of what it is like. It’s surely not going to be easy. I cannot just call on my faith and snap out of it make the moral decision I have in mind now.

And like my friend said, it takes time for anything to mature. And he is right. It is not God’s way to force. But I believe that in God, anything is possible. That is what I hold on to. And this is how I establish my stand again. I think it’s stronger in me now. Time to sleep.